How Can I Get Through This?
by toe walker
Summary: Sydney has never been able to walk, and it has never been a problem. Sydney has always been a Genius, and it has never been a huge asset. Until she was reaped into the Hunger Games. How will she make it through? rated T for possible gore.
1. Chapter 1

**I am writing this really fast because I have to leave the awesomeness of Wi-Fi in 30 minutes so don't hate! It's probably crap.**

How did this happen? I mean, I know the odds, I could recite them if I thought you would understand. All of the things that I have firmly believed for a long time, equations that I have put away, are gone. I know that the odds WERE in my favor. But that's the problem I suppose. Its not about the odds, its about the results.

My name is Sydney Griffin, I am a genius, I live in district 7 (lumber), and I have been selected to be a victor in the 73rd annual hunger games. Oh, one more thing I should probably tell you, I can't walk.

I have been in a wheel chair my whole life, it has never been that big of a deal until now. Everyone helps out, I don't go out to chop down trees like almost everyone else does, instead, I solve most of the problems anyone has around here.

I can solve any equation and, given time any dilemma brought to my door. I don't charge money because it seems a bit conceded, but people pay as much as they can afford to anyway. Even with the extra money, my family of ten would not be able to survive without the tesserae that my brothers and I get. I'm 16 with four little brothers and three little sisters, two of which are now eligible for the games. The two that are, are fourteen year old twins named Bobby and Frank. No one but me can tell them apart. Then comes the triplets, ten year olds Garret, Claire, and Hannah. Six year old Nick. And finally, little Emily. Only 6 months old.

I took into account all of them along with my parents when I figured out how many tesserae that we should take out. I was sure that none of us would be reaped. I must have misscalculated.

All I remember of the reaping is numbly rolling my chair up on that stage without really thinking about the situation. I then remember Hannah and Claire screaming while the rest of my family stared in shock. I don't know the person who was chosen with me. He is twelve and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. We were in the same boat. We were both going to die soon.

And now I am sitting in the government building, waiting for my family to come in and make me feel even worse. I know that I am feeling horribly, but I can't imagine their sadness. I have been their little girl for 16 years. The one no one was mean to at school because of the chair, the one everybody respected for her knowledge, and the one my family respected for taking all of the tesserae needed the first two years I was eligible for the hunger games.

Finally the door opens, and in walks my entire family. When I see them, I burst into tears, because I can't stand to see them so forlorn. Every single one of them has a frown on their face, even Emily, who doesn't know what, is going on. It finally hit me. Just how much I was going to lose from these games. My family, their happiness, my happiness, and most importantly, my life. I hadn't been able to process it before, but now, it consumed my mind. All of the different possibilities of my death. It scared me. That's right; the invincible Sydney Griffin was terrified to the point of crying.

Right away, I took Emily from my mother's arms and held her close to my chest for the last time… in need to get that into my head… Last. Time. I would not see any of them again, I was sure of it! How could a girl in a wheelchair ever make it out alive? The only answer I could come up with was, I can't. So I need to soak up the presence of my family's presence now.

The way that the twin's hair is never tidy. The way that Claire and Hannah always finish each other's sentences. The way that Garret is always playing tricks on Clair and Hannah. The way that Nick always tags along with the triplets and never fails to make me laugh. The way that Emily… the way that Emily… never fails to know when I am hurting, how she cries when I do, how she will never see me again…

I can't handle it anymore, so I hand Emily back to my mother and roll quickly out of the room. I immediately get sopped by peace keepers with guns. At gunpoint I am rushed back into the room where all of my family looks terrified out of their minds. The peace keepers smirk and escort my entire family out of the room. I am tense, waiting for gunshots, but to my relief, they never come. My family is safe.

**Did you like it? I hope you did! I was inspired by something I realized a few months ago, "if I were in the hg, I would die." it is a sad realisation. But I am non athletic so it is true. I'm not sure where exactly I am going with this but... I hope its good.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! I'm back! I would have updated a while ago but finals are next week and I've had a bunch of hw. Also, I just obtained (and finished) a book that I have been obsessing over for the past... Year! Its called, Out of Sight, Out of Time by Ally Carter. Its the 5th book in the Gallagher Girls series. And it is breaking awesome! (I totally didn't do my science review because I just HAD to finnish it...) So I have been busy writing this for five days but have only finished now due to the forementioned bad excuses! I should problem stop talking now! Umm hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Forgot I didn't do this last time!**

**Katniss- you don't own me!**

**Me- your not in this story so bug off!**

**Katniss- ugh!**

**Johanna- well you don't own me or the hunger games!**

**Me- well no dur! My writing is not as good as the original! But I do own Sydney and co!**

Chapter 2!

I still am dumbfounded by the fact that I, me, the girl in the wheelchair was reaped. It can't really register in my mind. Ha, I just realised how funny that was. The girl who can solve everything now can't even get into her head that she won't be coming home. That she would never see her family or friends again. Oh well I thought it was funny.

My question is, why? Why do these people do this? Other than "entertainment" and "revenge". I have come face to face with both of these emotions and I just can't put my finger on it, but this is not the same. I will figure it out later.

Now I am speeding towards the capitol. In otherwords, the slaughter house. Surprisingly, as well as suspiciously, there were handicapped modifications everywhere. In the bathroom, at the table, and everywhere else that was possible. As soon as I got on the train, our escort, Christina Riley was fussing over my every move. I didn't enjoy being treated like a child, so I retired to my room soon after pretending to watch the reapings. When I got there, and had rolled onto my bed gratefully, I began to think. Now, that is not a strange thing for me to do, at times I will be so lost in thought that I will go into a kind of trance and before I knew it, my family would be home from the woods.

But this thinking was different, it was not a reprieve from the physical world and an escape into the oblivion of equations. This was a blind terror. No coherent thoughts other than, "How can I get through this?" and "I was not supposed to be chosen!" and most importantly "why me?" Those thoughts lulled me to sleep as we approached my death.

**I was going to end it there, but I want to make this long… I'm working on that.**

When I woke up, I had to think for a second before figuring out where I was. I was no longer on the train; we must have gotten to the capitol late last night. I rolled over to get into my chair, but it wasn't there. I sat up, suddenly afraid. What had they done to it? My entire life revolves around that chair. It is my transportation, my only constant in a fast changing world. And one thing that is always constant is that it is always on the right side of my bed, so that I could get right into it every morning. But now, my chair was gone.

There was a new one in its place, not that this was a bad thing, the old one was basically trash. The problem was that it was halfway across the room and I had no way of getting to it. I would have called for help but I don't trust the people here, so I painfully got onto the floor. I dragged myself to this new chair, and pulled myself onto it. When I was done, I had scratches all over my arms and my limp legs were n horrible pain. I tied to roll out but the wheels were locked. It took me a while to figure out how this new chair worked, until I saw the joystick on the handle. Ugh! The stupid thing was electronic! And I don't know how it works!

**Again, sorry for the delay. And sorry for the shortness. That is not my strong suit. I hope you liked it! I have a reeeally good idea of how to end it... but I won't tell you! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**-toe walker**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi there! I'm back! I just want to say, that my updating schedule will be really spastic over the summer... I have no idea when I will have time to write or when I will decide to get off my but and to the computer. Umm well lets get started then! Oh ps. My chapters are trying to be longer. I actually am not the best writer *legasp!* so I'm trying to be better with DETAILS and quotes (if you didn't notice, I have used any yet in the story) Ok I'm done!**

**Disclaimer- *peeta and Katniss holding me at gunpoint***

**Me- oh my gods guys! Back off!**

**K-we wanna be in the story too!**

**P-yeah! Or least the next installment! You know we ARE in the next hg!**

**Me- oh gosh... Umm well I WAS gonna surprise you guys... Buuuuuuut... Since you asked so "nicely" I will tell you.**

**P- was that sarcasm?**

**Me-noooo... Please don't hurt me! The surprise is... That you WILL be in this fic!**

**All- YAAAAAAAAY!**

**Me-i won't tell you when though... Mwahahaha!**

**K- ugh! You are soooo annoying!**

**Me- oh well... Lets get on with the story!**

After I found the instruction manual to the STUPID chair. (can you believe that they put the manual on the UNDERSIDE of the chair?) I got dressed in a cute green dress that was layed out on the bed. **(an- if any o y'all have read matched, it is like the one described in that. I don't feel like describing it but it is really pretty) **and rolled my way to where I smelt the delectable food.

After hitting two dead ends and going in circles about 5 times, I was able to make my way to the dining area. When I got there I saw Johanna, the mentor, Christina, the escort and Paul, the poor 12 year who will be dying with me in a fue days, digging into piles of pancakes and mountains of other delicacies that my family has never been able to afford. I dig in as well, not able to stop. The food has a strange smell of roses that I could not quite understand. It seemed to make me keep eating until Christina tapped me on the shoulder, saying "it's time to go to your stylist now sweetie!"

Ugh I am so ready to stop being babied. So I unlocked my chair and rolled over to the door without a word.

When I got there, my prep crew fussed over my legs even more than Christina did! I am ready to be done with this already! Everybody here treats me like I can't fend for myself. They are all wrong. I can go anywhere, do anything but walk. And I am convinced that I can fix that. Polio doesn't have a cure yet. But I do have a fue theories.

After they were done ripping the skin from my entire body, they left me alone. I was tempted to leave but they had left my chair on the other side of the room again, so that if I wanted to get to it, I would have to crawl about 20 feet to get to it. So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until FINALLY my stylist comes in. Caramel Charm. I recognise her from previous years and groan. She is the worst! Every year she either doesn't put much of anything on the tributes or dresses them up in some ridiculous costume like a fish for four or a bomb for three. I am horrified.

"Hello my darling! I have a wonderful setup for you today! You will be dressed up as a... TREE STUMP! Now I thought that this was a wonderful *blah* *blah* *blah*..."

"Ok I GET it! Just put the fricking clothes on!" I screamed, finally fed up with the endless rambling.

She just smiled, unphased by my outburst and helped me into my chair. "now I made this so that you can wear that dress under it for the top but whatever you want for pants under it, as I did not know what would be comfortable for... Well you! So it will just slip over your wheelchair and be done! And did you know that it just began to be in fashion to wear shrubbery?"

She didn't give me a chance to tell her that I actually did know that as I had gotten a veeeeeeeeery long lecture on it last night at dinner from Christina but instead just kept talking. I actually found that I WAS grateful for the excuse not to talk. I needed to think.

I knew that my interview was essential to my success in the games, but I had no idea how I WAS going to play it. If I went with poor helpless girl who couldn't do anything, no sponsor in their right mind would ever pay money to see me die! But if I acted like I was fearless they would think me a fool and never sponsor me either... I was stumped.

After about an hour of her talking, and talking, and talking, fiddling with my "dress", and doing my makeup, she let me look at myself in the mirror. I was pleasantly surprised. The stump hid the chair pretty well an only went up to the arm rests. Above that, she had draped me with vines and leaves that complimented the green dress I was wearing. They must have planned it out beforehand. My face had a light twinge of green that actually didn't look to bad, and Caramel assures me that it will come off in the shower. My eyes were outlined in dark green eyeshadow and brown eyeliner. My eyelashes were very long and I had a pretty flush to my cheeks. In short, I looked beautiful.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! I look... Dazzling. Thank you." I said, beaming.

And then she said the only words that came out of her mouth that I really listened to that day. "It was already there sweetheart. I just made it bigger."

I smiled so hard at that moment that I swear that my cheeks were sore for days afterward. I had never thought of myself as pretty, but now, I could see so much more than I saw before.

**Awww so cute! Sigh...**

**...**

**Oh I'm supposed to be talking now aren't I... Oh ya! Just want to say the there will be no fluff in this story except mabe Katniss/peeta or possible Katniss/gale *gag* later on. Don't worry I'm not a die hard peeta lover but I don't really like gale, so all of you teem gale people are safe.**

**If any if you got the **_**13 reasons why**_** quote in chapter two and review on it will get a cookie next chapter!**

**So I don't know anything about polio, its just a disease that I know can do something to your legs. I also know that there is a vaccine for it nowadays. Just bear with me. It comes into play later.**

**What do you think her strategy for the interview should be? I'm kinda stumped myself on that one.**

**Also, what do you think i should make the arena? I have a fue ideas but none of them are verry impressive. She needs to be able to roll around. If its something like the woods tell me how she would get around... Mabe a wheelchair function? Help me out here folks!**

**Just so you know, you are never going to get to know Paul. He is going to be very distant during the training and will die in the bloodbath. Just wanted to tell you that.**

**I think you all will be surprised with what I do with this story. I havn't read any like my idea yet... I'm still working out the details though.**

**Oh, one last thing. Any real characters in this will probably be waaaaay ooc because I havn't read the books in a while so bear with me.**

**-toe walker**

**Ps. I hope this chapter was longer and I will give shoutouts to all my reviewers next chapter. Reviewer # 7 and 10 (once we get there) gets a seek peek! I think you all can do it! I love reviews! They give me warm fuzzy feelings inside! If i have read any of yals stiris you will know cause i leave reviews galore! Its not that hard! I'm also thinking of writing a pjo ff. My idea is pretty depressing though I might make it a 1 shot... Sorry for the long AN... See you soon! (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Last day of school! Whoop whoop! So I am writing this in my science class after my exam and will hopefully finnish in time to post today! I hope so! Now on with the disclaimer!**

**K+P- if you don't tell us when you are going to put us in, we will kill you with this gun!**

**Me- wow! You guys just totally talked at like the same time! That is soooo cool!**

**K- why thank- wait a second! Don't change the subject!**

**Me- well to bad cause all of these nice people will know what happens and I will not allow it.**

**P- ugh! Fine! But you don't own me!**

**Me- well ya! Or anyone else that I didn't make up! Now lets go get some froyo.**

**K- no! Its the last day of school so all the shops will be stuffed! Just go on with the story!**

I was very interested how it will feel to be on a chariot drawn by horses. I had seen them on television of course but this was completely different. I was a bit apprehensive actually. Seeing how big they were compared to regular people on television, and now, being in a wheelchair, I had no idea what would happen. There was not much time to be apprehensive however.

After getting prettied up, I was hustled outside because we were late for the ceremony. It was at this moment that I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since this morning. And now I deeply regretted it because from what I have seen on the tv, the parade is _very_ long.

When I got to the stables to get onto the chariots I was up on a platform so that I could be the same height as Paul. He was dressed as a whole tree. I of course found this hilarious but a bit insulting. Why was I a stump when he was a TREE. I burst out laughing anyway and he glared at me. This of course just made it funnier and I kept laughing. That is, until I saw the horses. They were HUGE! Almost twice my height in the chair, and they looked like thy wanted to eat me! I raced out of the room as fast as I could, which was pretty fast, my new chair could go up to 30 mph.

"Sydney! Wait! Come back!" Johanna yelled after me.

I disregarded her and sped on. By the time she caught up to me, I was shivering in a broom closet and she was breathing hard. "Now, I'm not going to give you any crap. I was terrified of those things when I first came too. But I've had the same horses now for the 10 years I've been coming **(I just made the amount of years up. Correct me if you want) **and they would never hurt a fly. Now go out there and do me proud girl."

I unwillingly rolled back out and was met by a frantic Christina and a machine to get me onto the chariot. I tried not to look at the horses because thy made me nervous. So instead I sized up the other tributes. I soon gave up on this also because all I could see were teens who would either kill me or I would kill them. I did not have to wait long before the chariot jolted forward and scared me out of my wits. I plastered a fake smile on my face and waved at the adoring crowds while my stomach either jolted in nervousness or growled in hunger.

After we went back up to lever 7, I ate enough food to feed my family for a month, took a long shower and fell asleep immediately. My last thought of the day was, I hope they don't move my chair again, before drifting in to dreams of makeup chasing me with knives and horses eating me.

The next day, Johanna woke me up at sunrise, insisting we get to the training center in the wee hours of the morning. At training, I focused on survival skills, along with a couple knife throwing sessions. My favorite station was by far camouflage; I could make anything look like anything if it was the correct size. I mean I couldn't make a molehill into a tree, but if it was big enough I could! It was so cool! I never thought I had any artistic talent!

Three days went by like this, and then it was time for the individual sessions with the game makers. I was so nervous that I started messing with buttons on my chair. Some you don't want to know what they do, but I found one that opened cup holders, and one that did a nice hand massage. Nothing that would really help me in the games though.

Finally, it was my turn, I turned to wish Paul good luck and went in. I thought about it and decided to throw a few knives after making myself look like a practice dummy sitting in a wheelchair. I just hope they were watching. I went to level 7 and waited for the results to come up.

A few hours later, they did. Districts 1, 2, and 4 got from 8-10, and everyone else cot on average a 5.3 (I know, I calculated.) Paul got a 6, which isn't too bad and I scored a 9. I was scared because I knew my large score would make more people come after me in the arena, but I put on a smile to appease my "team".

The next day was interview day! I started out with Christina who decided to have me walk with my crutches. I know what you are thinking, "Sydney, if you can walk with crutches, why do you use a chair all of the time?" The answer? It hurts more than you can imagine. So, it was a painful 3 hours, after the crutches, I had to sit up straight, smile, and do it all again.

And then, I went to Johanna.

**Ok, I know it is short, but you guys seriously need to help me out with her stance in interviews because that is the next part. Would have gone further but I can't without that! I have figured out the arena, but need help with other tributes. So HELP! Pleeease? I'm too lazy to shout out to reviews… maybe next time? See you soon! oh and if any of y'all have read my other ff: burning down, i got a 100 on that project so thanks a bunch!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi there! Happy summer! Just so you know, I will be **_**trying**_** to update at least once or twice a week but I make no promises. I'm going to Florida for a church choir trip the last week of June so I won't be updating then, and the 2nd-4th week of July I'm going to duke to take a forensic science class so I don't know how often I will update then. I will try my best! This is the last chapter before they go into the arena, and I have a good idea for the arena... But I won't tell you! You will know at the end of this chapter anyway. Congrats to ****AceAuthor for being reviewer #7! She also has any and all rights to the new character that I am throwing in today! Reviewers #10 and # 17 get a sneak peak. And may the odds be ever in your favor!**

**Disclaimer- k- the "disclaimer" on chapter 2 did not say that you don't own anything!**

**P-yea! It was just a random conversation that you had in your head!**

**Me- ok ok gosh! I don't own the hunger games in this chappie or in #2! Where did you get those guns anyway? You live in my head!**

**K+p- none of your beeswax! Now tell the story!**

So Johanna's lesson wasn't as painful physically as Christina's, but it was overall much more stressful. I knew that the interviews were almost as important as everything else combined. It was the thing that really got you sponsors which could mean life or death in the arena. But I hoped Johanna had a plan for me already, because I had no idea what to do...

"So, Johanna, how should I play the interviews?" I asked as I rolled into the room.

"Listen here kid, I want you to win, I want to show the capitol that they cannot do this to their own nation's children. And I want you to show them how much of an asset you could be to them if you win. I'm not guaranteeing that it will happen, but I think it will work."

I was confused, "What? How can I show them that I can be an asset if I just had to work for three hours to be able to walk across that stage?"

"Oh, you are walking? Good that should help as well." She said, disregarding my confusion.

"But how can I do that? All they want from the districts is the hard labor, and I can't really give that!" I said, a bit terse. I hate being confused.

Johanna smiled knowingly. "Just be yourself deary, I'll do the rest." She walked out, leaving me more confused than before.

**Line!**

After eating dinner, Caramel did a quick coat of make up that looked the same as yesterday and put on a dark green, flowy dress that went down to just above my knees. It looked like it was made of leaves and it had blood red roses all over it. On my feet were dark green flats with a rose on each one. My blonde hair **(A/N I forgot to describe her, but she kinda looks like Taylor Swift with LONG straight hair in my mind) **was curled in perfect ringlets and had a real red rose in it. It was even better than the parade. I felt stunning.

**Line!**

I tried not to be apprehensive about walking to the stage. As I looked around, I was glad that I was not in heels. I could see all of the other girls tripping every once in a while in their 4-6 inch heels.

I think that my crutches make my outfit look wonderful. They are the kind that wrap around my forearm, and someone had made them look like vines, as if they were grabbing me and pulling me into the rosebush.

We all filed onto the stage, by the time I had made it to my seat, I was completely out of breath. I missed the opening words of Ceaser Fliccarman. **(did I spell that correctly?) **I had time to notice that hehad ridiculous pink hair this year before he had called up the first tribute. Her name was Hillary and she disgusted me. She wore the shortest dress I had ever seen. I stopped listening after she called me a "poor cripple" and my eyes glowed with rage. The only person that I really listened to was the girl from 2. She is 16 and her name is Kyla Star. She is average height with long brown hair with blond highlights. The most striking thing about her is her eyes. They are this dark brown that seams to always be calculating your next move. Her whole interview was about her struggled with the right and wrong in this situation. I had noticed her before and she was the only one from the career districts that hasn't joined up yet. I made a mental note to ask her o be an ally.

Soon enough, my name was called. I heaved myself off the couch and slowly made my way to the chair. Once I got there, I realized that the entire crowd was cheering me on. I smiled as I sat down and caught my breath.

Ceaser smiled kindly, "You look stunning today sweetheart! Who decided that you would walk with crutches tonight?"

"Well it DEFINITELY wasn't me. That was the most strenuous thing I've done since I got here! Other than figuring out how to work my new _electric _wheelchair and the showers. It was Christina's idea." That got a few laughs.

"So will you take your crutches into the arena?" he asks.

"I will just for emergencies like if the terrain is too rocky for my chair, I will have to abandon it and use my crutches for the rest of the games. Lets just hope that it doesn't happen though, because I won't be able to throw any knives while standing up! And I don't think you all want to see me sit down every time I am attacked!" I saw one man collapse from laughter at that point. It wasn't _that_ funny!

"So what would you say is your best asset in these games and what is your best trait overall?"

"Well, I can throw a knife pretty well and know every edible plant there is. I'm pretty good with overall? I know really long words."

"Oh, would you like to tell us a few, and their meanings?"

"Sure! Well, is the fear of long words" this got many laughs. "Ellogofusciouhipoppokunurious means... good." They thought this was hilarious. "And Zenzizenzizenzic is the eighth power of a number." people were dying of laughter at that one. I smiled in satisfaction.

"Well I personally liked that last one the best. How do you know such long words?"

"well, since I could never go out to work like all of my siblings I would always read books. One of my favorites was the dictionary. In fact, I made my father go out and buy one that had more words! We found out later that I had a photographic memory!" BZZZZ

"well, I would love to hear more but I'm afraid we are out of time! Would you like help getting back to your seat?"

"No, I need the practice. Goodbye! I hope I'll see you soon!" I heaved myself up and was determined to go really fast to show that I wasn't weak.

Half way back to my seat, my left crutch caught on the ground and I went sprawling. Immediately Ceaser and a few others we next to me, making sure I was alright, before someone silently picked me up and carried me to my chair. I looked up and smiled, it was Kyla! She set me down gently, and I fond that I had a crumpled note in my hand.

_Make sure you get in the elevator alone, I'll join you and we can discuss... Things._

_-Kyla_

**A/N I was gonna end it there, but I'm on a long car drive,so its going to be extra long.**

Once the interviews were over, I got in the chair and sped away from my team. I got into the elevator alone and saw Kyla melt out of the shadows and come into the elevator and press the button for the roof.

She was silent while we went up, so I had time to take in her outfit. It was camouflage, like so many of district 2's are, and it was very short, it was form fitting with a very low cut neck line. Her stylist was obviously going for sexy but strong look. It would work but for the fact that she was obviously uncomfortable in it. I immediately liked her for that.

Once we got to the roof, she turned to me suddenly. "Do you want to form an alliance?"

"I was going to ask you the same question. I think we would work well together."

"Ok good." She left abruptly. Not much of a talker I see. Oh well. Shouldn't be a problem in the games.

I went to my room and fell asleep for the last time before the games.

**Line!**

I ate a large breakfast that morning. When I went to get prepared, they gave me workout pants and shirt along with a jacket. I was surprised when they gave me a grey backpack. Usually you had to hunt for any food that you don't get at the cornacopia. I slung it on the back of my chair next to my crutches. And got into the tube.

40 seconds later, I started descending. Wait, descending? Yes, I was going DOWN! I didn't have time to ponder why because soon I was on the plate. I was relieved to se a ramp going down so that I could get off. I looked around and realized that we were in a large chamber with about 10 different halways and I gasped in realized that it was a maze! I caught Kyla's eye and nodded to the one directly behind me. She nodded and we turned to the timer.

5

4

3

2

1

0 LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

**Yay! I thought it was long and pretty good! Once again Kyla belongs to AceAuthor who is an awesome writer and fanfic friend! Remember #10 and #17 get sneak peaks! Or else I can advertise your stories if you already got one! (AceAuthor is an amazing author and you should read her stories) see? I had already given her a sneak peak and now, because she was #7 I am advertising! So review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, I know,I am a horrible person. You don't need to say it. But I had tecnicle issues with this chapter. I needed some technology to incorporate, but it was hard to come up with it. So anyways, here is the update!**

**K- you are a horrible person!**

**Me- I know, I know. All of those people waiting for me to post! Oh, I feel like a horrible person!**

**P- that to I guess.**

**Me- ugh! What now?**

**P- weeeeell...**

**K- your disclaimers are far too silly! You should just say something like "I don't own the hunger games" and be done!**

**Me- well its as true this way as it is that way!**

_Previously-_

_3_

_2_

_1_

_0. Let the ganesh begin!_

I sees my chair as fast as I could towards the agreed hallway. I was a bit nervous about supplies, because there was obviously no food or water here, but I was hopeful that there was foodstuffs in our bags.

As soon as I was far enough in that I felt safe, I turned, hoping to see Kyla behind me, panting for breath. But the passage was deserted. I slowly crept back to where the cornacopia was, when I saw her, arms bulging with stuff she had obviously grabbed, gesturing for me to go quickly the other way.

When I heard her stop behind me, I saw her begin to unpack her bag along with other things she had grabbed.

I helped go through things an we fond we had a pretty hearty supply for the two of us. The backpacks that they had given us actually did have a good amount of food in them. I supposed that the capitol did not want us to die a boring death of starvation. In all, we had enough food to feed us both for about two months, 10 gallons of water, some water purifyer, although I couldn't figure out exactly where we would need that down here, 2 first aid kits, 2 sleeping bags, a bunch of throwing knives for me and a fuel spears for her. There were also two strange flat metal devices that looked like mini television sets. They both came in our original bags.

All of a sudden, they both turned on. The face of Claudius Templesmith heard on the screen.

"Hello tributes of the 73rd annual hunger games! As you may have noticed, due to some... Well... Complications in this games, we sped up the creation of this arena, which we were actually saving for the quarter quell, but changes had to be made! So, as you may have figured out, you all are in a maze! But this maze does not have an entrance or an exit. It is, you might say, al labyrinth. Now in your hands, you are holding your lifeline in this games. It is an amazing, interactive little doodad, that you can do many things on. First, you may keep track of all of the tributes being alive or dead, second you can see little dots where the tributes are in the arena, third, you can draw a map of the arena. Now you may think that just knowing where the tributes are, will let you win, but remember that there will always be a wall in your way. May the odds be ever in your favor."

I sat there with a giddy smile on my face.

Kyla looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "why are you smiling? This looks like hell!"

I just shook my head and tapped my brain. "I know from experience that all mazes have patterns. Ill have a map done in about 20 minutes."

Little did I know that this maze was like no one I had seen before.

**Short? Mabe. Crappy? Mabe. But I wanted to get something to you guys. I had its of problems with what I have dubbed, the life pad, I just couldn't get it right. I hope it was ok!**

**Oh and if you all are pjo fans, feel free too read my new story, praying to mommy. It was just gonna be a one shot, but I have had an overwhelming call to continue, and so I shall. I will see you soon!**

**-toe walker!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! I'm back! So I have an important question to ask you. How do you see the number of views for your story?I want to be able to congratulate myself on how many views I have. So review/pm me the answer. Thanks!**

**Congrats to GlitterAttack for being reviewer #10! Remember, #17 gets a sneak peak!**

**Me- so Katniss and Peeta were being mean to me last disclaimer sooooo... Drumrol please!**

**Mystery guest-oh just introduce me already. Or ill gut you!**

**Me- so this is a person from the Percy Jackson series... And if you guessed Clarisse La Rue from the Ares cabin, you are coooorrect!**

**Clarisse- if she owned the hg. She wouldn't be writing this!**

**Me- wow that was the first statement she has said that didn't include a threat!**

**C- shut up and get on with the story if you want to keep your legs**

The girl thing Kyle and I did was look at the "tribute tracker" we saw that most of the tributes survived. Only 3 people died. I was sad to see that Paul didn't make it. He was a good kid. But not cut out for the games I suppose. The other two dead were both from twelve. For the first time I regretted not learning their names.

I quickly looked at the blank map showing where other tributes were. Good, nobody near us.

I opened up the section where you can draw the map and saw that the opening chamber was already marked along with the beginnings of the 10 passages you could have taken. I asked Kyla to hand me her life pad as I had decided to name it, I switched it to the tribute follower and tracked everyones dot on my map. Soon enough, I had figured out the entire map other than our section.

We decided to turn on the part of the machine that draws the map as you walked, or, well, moved. Whenever it branched, we would walk until we found a dead end, and then back tracked and took the other side. We only ran into one optical. The capitol decided to throw some tracker jackers at us. I knew from experience that they would not attack if you made loud high pitched noises so I began to scream at the top of my lungs. It wasn't hard. After a while, they all went away and we went on.

When we got too the last dead end, I almost collapsed in exhaustion. Kyla layed out the sleeping bags while I watched. I turned around instinctively and saw the girl from 4 pointing a spear at Kyla's back.

I immediately threw my knife, hitting her shirt and pinning her to the wall.

"hello Tina." Kyla walked up to the girl. "Long time, no see. Got bored stealing peoples boyfriends and decided to join the hunger games?"

That was the longest sentence I had ever heard her say. I looked at her questioningly as she continued to speak.

"You know, after you did what you did to me, I fell into depression. I even tried to kill myself." the girl looked shocked. "Yes, I know they never told you that, but after they found me, floating in the ocean, they shipped me inland to district two. I never saw the ocean again." at this point she was crying, tears of rage streaming down her face, "I had been debating whether to go into these games until I found out that you were going to volunteer. I swear you are the only person that I willvkill n these games, because I will not stoop to your twisted level." I looked away as she killed her. She sunk below the earth as we finished making camp in silence.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked after I almost burst from curiosity for a full 20 minutes.

"I suppose it won't hurt. When I was 13, I fell in love with a fisherman's son. He was perfect, always considerate of my feelings, never moving to fast. His name was Harry. Tina was my best friend and was the only one who knew we were dating. I was to shy to tell anybody else. One day she decided that she wanted him. And so she told the entire school thatwe had been dating, and I had been cheating on him with another guy. When I got to school that day, he broke up with me and I didn't know why. But I did soon. I tried to drown myself in the ocean a few months later. Some kid found me, and the rest I suppose is history."

"you must have really loved him." I said. Her whole story was so sad. I couldn't imagine the pain it must have caused.

"Yea, I did." she replied and got into her bag. I knew the conversation was over.

The last thing I thought before I fell asleep was, "4 down, 19 to go."

**So Paul is dead, Tina who you knew for about 4 paragraphs is dead, and both people from district twelve are dead. Not the best or the longest, but it was ok and not the shortest right?**

**Anyways, so happy birthday to my brother, he is turning eleven tomorrow! Yay! Mabe he will become more mature... Answer my important question at the top! See you later!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi all! So my bro turned 11 yesterday, and the cake was DELICIOUS! Yummm I love chocolate!**

**#17 gets a sneak peak!**

**No real news... Lets go!**

**Clariss- how often do I have to tell you? Don't tell people that you like chocolate! They will think you are a fatty!**

**Me- but I'm not!**

**Clariss- well...**

**Me- ugh!**

**Clariss- she don't own thg!**

I never dream. But that night, I had a nightmare

When it began, I was sitting in a bright white room, without my wheelchair, when I smelt the same rose scent that I had smelt that morning at breakfast before the parade. I immediately stood up and sprinted along, through corridors, and into a room. I was laughing in delight because I could walk, run, and jump! It was at that moment, the best time in my life. The only thing in the room was a table with a bowl of something that looked like water. The liquid had a single white rose in it, and I guessed that the liquid must be perfumed because no single rose could give off that much scent. It was the most beautiful rose I had ever seen. Pure white in the pure whiteness of this dream world. Beautiful. It seemed that the dream would be a good one, how wrong I was.

As I watched the rose and drew closer, a single drop of dark red blood fell onto it. I looked up and screamed as I saw my crutches, drenched in blood, hanging from the ceiling. It fell and crashed into the bowl with the rose, and crushed it. For the first dream I had ever had, it was a pretty horrible. Now I knew how my siblings could wake up screaming from their dreams. I always thought that if they knew it wasn't real, how would it be frightening? Now I know.

I woke up screaming and crying. It was a horrible dream, But I wanted it to continue because, within the dream I could walk, and run, and be like everyone else. Oh I tried to hide it, but I so wanted to be the same as everyone else. The chair always brings me down somehow, and I wanted it to end.

Kyla came over to me and held me. I knew now, the pain that she had gone through, and knew that in a way, I was a metaphor in her mind, to herself. I am her way of letting othere know how she wished she had been treated when she needed help.

Eventually, I calmed down, and we had a breakfast of a few dried plumbs. I found them even worse dried than not. It was horrible. I hate dried fruits.

After that, we decided to stay in the same place, because it is on a part in the maze with lots of twists and turns, where there would almost always be a wall in the way of people unless they have a map. And we knew that nobody had explored this part of the maze because we were the only ones who had come into this passage other than Tina. We checked.

The day was uneventful. At noon, the girl from nine died and at 3 in the afternoon, the boy from 6. Every time the alarm went of on our life pads, Kyla winced, like she wished that it didn't have to happen. I just looked at the picture sadly and turned away.

"Have you ever wondered why?" I was startled to hear Kyla's voice. We had not talked all day.

"I have, but I do not think that it matters." I answered cautiously.

She looked at me angrily, "You don't think it matters? Twenty four children die every year and you don't think it matters?"

"No, I don't think it matters, because even if we did wonder, and even if we did do something, there would not be enough force on our side to effectively stop it."

"But why? Why wouldn't there be enough force?"

"Because most people are too scared to do anything. I have tested this fact. They will make excuses and hide behind curtains, but only a select few actually do something about anything."

"How can you be sure that when it is this serious-" I cut her off.

"Because my entire district watched me almost drown. Only one boy broke free of the crowd and jumped in to save me, and still nobody helped. I think that if they couldn't do something about something that they knew they wouldn't get hurt in, they wouldn't be able to do something when they are not so sure." I had begun to cry at the memory. I never wanted to be near the river again.

I once again had the horrible dream. This time, the walls were pitch black. I never knew how captivating a single white rose in an all-black world could be. It was truly amazing and horrifying. I almost cried when the red tainted its pureness.

**I know its short, don't hate me!**

**I really don't have much to tell you all...**

**WAIT! I actually do. This might be the last time i will update for a while... I'm leaving Saturday and most likely won't have internet or a computer for a week. So make tomorrow or Friday? And a slim chance the next week. Then, I problem will have 2 or 3 chapterm ready to post the week after that, and will be gone for 3 weeks but might have time to update then... Sorry! Ill miss you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi! Chapter 9 is here! Sorry for not updating sooner, but I wanted to get my pjo one done first...**

**I was wrong on timing,I am actually leaving on this Friday, so I hope to update bunches this week.**

**I am skipping pretty much a week now. Everybody is dead except for the careers (other than tina) and Sydney.**

**Clariss- she don't own the hg!**

**Me- she is correct! Now please don't hurt me!**

I have had the same dream for the past six nights. I Wales up screaming every time.

I am in the top 6. I never thought I would get that far. Nobody has come close to us this far, but I know it is inevitable.

Over time I have realised that I needed to get away from Kyla. I knew she would not hurt me, but I also knew that if we were the final two, we would not be able to kill each other.

So now I am ready. I have my map and my bag. And I silently roll away from my best friend in the world.

Eventually I begin to tire. But I continue on, not wanting to fall asleep and dream.

Soon I smell a very familiar smell. It is the sickly sweet smell of roses that I have grown to hate, this time hinted with blood. I go into a sort of trance, my hand moves on its own accord. I went down hallway after hallway, making sharp turns, no idea where I was going until I came into a dark chamber. On the ground were thousands of red roses.

I keep rolling forward, until I feel my front wheels tip over the side of something. I look down and scream. The ground is not a ground, but a pool of water.

I tried to grab the sides or something but they crumbled away at my touch. I paddled frantically with my hands but I just couldn't stay afloat. I began to sink. Eventually I couldn't stop myself from taking a big breath of water and I went unconscious. Before I did though. I heard a cannon. It can't be mine though. I am not dead yet.

**(I was gonna end it there and be totally evil but it is too short so read on)**

I woke up in an all white room. My chair nowhere in sight. At first I was freaking out about that, until I realised that I should have died. I began to scream and thrash around on the only price of furniture in the room, a metal table. Almost like a lab table.

Suddenly the door opened and a voice came from the shadows. You will learn to be still, or there will be consequences. I froze. That was the voice of president snip, which meant I couldn't be in heaven as I was considering, because he would not be with me.

He walked in with a large needle in his hand. Inside was a clear liquid that I knew was nothing good.

"this room, will be your bedroom, and hospital room. You will spend most of your time in here. If needed we can restrain you." he snapped his fingers an ld my arms, legs, head, and hips were shackled to the table. "For now you will stay like this."

He came up to me with the syringe and inserted it into my arm. "if you do not cooperate, this will be your punishment." he slowly pressed the plunges down. The agony was immediate. My entire body was engulfed in invisible flames, but as soon as it came, it went away.

"believe me, we have ways of making it last, but for now, we will stick with that." now come, I will show you the cafeteria. It is lunch time now."

He snapped and my shackles were released. As he waked out of the room my chair rose from the ground next to my bed. I reluctantly got in and followed the monster.

**So thats it! Where is she? What happened, and how is she not dead? Congrats to ****OfMockingjaysAndPrimroses for being reviewer # 17! prizes I am afraid... See you soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi! I'm in Florida! Dear god, please let us not die in tropical storm Debbie! Jk we are in the wrong place for that to happen. But I'm goin to universal studios! Harry potter world will be amazing! If I did not respond to your review I am sorry, but I read it I promise. To lazy to do a funny disclaimer... Ill do a southern one! I don't own nothin'! Miss Collins ! I find it amusing that people from Georgia have an accent and people from Texas don't. Haha.**

I followed him out of the room, mainly because I don't want to feel that horrible pain again. I still shuddered at the thought of it. It made my brain go a bit fuzzy, oh no! If it kills brain cells that would be horrible! Then again, I bet that is what they would want. For you not to think for yourselves.

Anyhow, I was also starving so I was pretty eager to get to this "cafeteria". We rolled down hallway after hallway as I made sure to memorize the path that we took.

Finally after about 5 minutes of rolling we came to what looked like a regular school cafeteria. But most of the people in it looked much to old to still be in school.

Suddenly I saw one table with people that I recognised. Paul and tina were both sitting at a table with most of the other people from my hunger games. I counted 22 plus me was 23. And Kyla was not there so did that mean that she won? I hope she did. She deserved it, she is the kindest, most inspiring person I have ever met.

All of these thoughts ran through my head before I stole a glance at the other tables. It was not silent like I would have thought it would be. Everybody was gossiping and chatting to everyone. As I looked closer I saw that I recognised most everyone in the room. It was now obvious what this place was. It was where you go when you die in the hunger games.

I looked at Snow and realized that he was looking at me expectantly. I nodded and he smiled evilly.

"so I suppose you have guessed what this place is, but I am afraid that you will just have to put up with my explanation." he smirked like he thought I was not curious about the nitty gritty details.

"so I know that you have guessed who all of these people are, though some are before your time. We started doing this after the 2nd quarter quell. We figured why waist all of these good human beings wen you can use them for... Other things."

"if you don't tell me why everyone is here in the next five seconds I will EXPLODE!" I cut in to his rambling about stuff I already had guessed.

"you will learn patients young lady. I am afraid that it has already been 5 seconds and you have not yet exploded. But I will tell you now after 18 seconds." he was really starting to infuriate her but she kept quiet, "you are here to be our dummies. You see the empty chairs? Those are the lucky ones, and I am afraid that you will not be lucky any time soon. We will need you for some well, special experiments, we need your legs you see."

"well I am glad I am so special. It makes me feel quite good about being subjected to sick medical experiments." I shot back sarcastically. By now the entire cafeteria was silent. Some were staring scared at snow and some were shaking theirvheads at me, knowing that I would just make it worse. I knew that as well but I was not thinking straight. I was still a bit fuzzy from the poison from Hades. **(one of my personal rules for myself is that I refuse to cuss so that is the closest I am getting)** so I just kept staring up him. Daring for him to do something.

Eventually he broke away from my stare and pointed at the only open seat at the table labeled 73. Unfortunately it was next to Tina.

"lunch ends in 20 minutes your food is at your seat, report directly to your room. Oh and your friend Kyla won. She has refused to talk in the 2 months since you died."

"wait. Two months?" I called after him as he left the room. He can't just leave me hanging like that!

**By the time I finished this I am on the way back to Texas! Hp world was sooooooooooooo fun! Butter bear was so addicting and I loved it so much! It was rainy some of the time but that ok. I had a day and a half there and then we went to the beach for a day. Then we sang at some retirement homes and are now driving home. Yay! Home! Will update soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I know, I know, you all hate me... But I have had MAJOR writers block for this story. And, even though im trying to write it now, I doubt it will be any good... The cursed writers block will not be stopped!**

**Katniss: when am i showing up, toe? I'm tired of waaaaaaaaiting**

**Peeta: yea! I mean, you said that we would show up, but we are 11 chapters in and katniss and i are not smooching yet!**

**Me: well my young charactors-**

**Katniss: hey, we are older than you!**

**Me: whatever, but you must remember that this is still before your games, so at the moment, katniss is probably playing in thr woods with Gale.**

**All: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww**

**Me: what do you have against Gale? I mean, I'm not saying he is better than Peeta, but... You know...**

**Katniss: whatever. If you have read this whole thing, then put the word hilltop somewhere in your review and toe will give you a cookie**

**Me: great, more baking... Now FINALLY I'm doing the thing where i say that i don't own the hunger games. Oh wait! I just did!**

For a place built for tourture, this place had ok food. I mean, it wasn't the best, but when you have lived in a poor family with tons of kids, it is heaven.

Oh great, now I feel guilty that I'm enjoying this while my family suffers. Of course, I'm going to have to suffer peobably painful medical experiments, so I guess that enjoying the food is not much to ask.

As I eat, I try to ignore the glares I am receiving from Tina. 15 minutes in, I give in and turn to her.

"What is your problem? God, what did I ever do to you?" I say, calmly, but firmly.

Tina seems a bit taken aback by my question, but still manages to answer back, "the real question is whay have you not done to me. You stood there and watched murder me! In your mind, I had died!"

I laughed a bit. "but look at what you were going to do to me! you were going to kill me and be happy about it, then go back to your carreer friends and laugh about it. I have not truly laughed once since i was reaped, but i know you would have." After that, i walked out of the stone silent cafeteria and back into the room from Hades.

Snow was waiting for me. Of course he was. He'd probably, seen my little yelling spurt and would punish me for it. But you know what? I don't care because it fealt so good.

He watched me calmly as I hoisted myself onto my 'bed'. Ha, bed, more like lab table. Then he walked over and pressed the button on my bed to make the handcuff type things appear so that I was strapped to the bed.

"Ah Sydney, I dont think I can let that little outburst fly without just a bit of punishment. Do you?"

I just stared at him, refusing to show weakness.

He slowly set up an IV with the same liquid as before filling most of the bag. I started to freak out a bit and it must have shown in my eyes because he chuckled.

"dont worry, this bag should only drip for about ehhh 3 hours. It will end just in time for your first procedure."

He pressed the button and the tourture began.

**(I was gonna end it there, but I have nothing better to do, so I'll keep going)**

The needle before was nothing, it only lasted a minute. This was a slow steady drip.

Drip...

Drip...

A seemingly never ending flow of pain. I screamed myself horse, cried myself dry, and struggled to be released from my bonds untill my wrists were raw. And then, the drip stopped. And I waited for the pain to leave me, but it took far to long.

When it finally ended, I was shaking uncontrollably and breathing hard.

And then the door flew open.

**I will end it there but only because I have not fully planned the person who will be coming through the door yet. Hopefully my writers block will go away soon.**

**-toe**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi all! I am… not as late as usual right? Ah well… I'm too tired to really care. Stupid band practices making me get up at 6:30 in the morning… Grrrrrrrrr… I mean seriously! I'm a teenager! I'm supposed to sleep in late!**

**I have important info at the bottom so read it!**

**Anyhow… I own nothing!**

_Previously:_

_When it finally ended, I was shaking uncontrollably and breathing hard._

_And then the door flew open._

In walked a woman with the shortest lab coat and pink pencil skirt I had ever seen. I thought it was a strange combo of clothing but maybe Snow made all of his sadistic doctors wear lab coats. Or maybe it's some new capitol fashion, but I'd never know because I'm stick in here for the rest of my life.

As she strutted in on her ridiculously tall heels, she introduced herself in the most… well I don't even know how to describe her voice, but you know all of those snobby rich girls in your class **(no offense to any rich people here, but, you know what I mean. Plus, I'm semi rich so…) **who whenever they talk to you, you imagine their voice all high, well I'm not just imagining this one, she has a seriously messed up voice. "Hi there! I'm Mira, but you can call me Mir. I'm gonna be your doctor! I'm so excited to get to know you and to help you get through this experience with you."

Yup. Definitely crazy. I just stared at her incredulously; I did not think I would be stuck with a prep as a doctor! Gosh! This is so messed up!

"Anyhoooo, your first operation is going to be a pretty simple one, I'm just going to draw a few kinds of fluid from your legs so that the capitol can use it to make anyone they want be crippled, isn't that wonderful!"

My jaw dropped and I kinda freaked out a little bit. I think I made a little squeaking sound because Mir was suddenly beside me, comforting me, telling me that it was all for the good of the capitol and that I should not be worried because it wouldn't hurt, I was just going to get some needled poked into me, that was all. I think she meant well, she is just really stupid. So I humored her, shut my jaw and forced a smile onto my face. I must say I'm not too bad of an actress.

So she set to work, poking needles, here and there. By the end, about 15 minutes later, she had a couple different vials of liquids. Some blood, some what looked to be stomach acid, but I mostly I had no idea what they were.

She looked at her watch. "Oh! Look at the time1 you are supposed to be at lunch already! Come on! I heard they are serving pizza!"

I had no clue what Pizza was, but I let her roll me to the dining room.

It turns out that pizza is cheese and red sauce on top of bread. It was very greasy, but delicious.

At lunch, I learned that most of the others' doctors were cryptic old guys. I guess that peppy, annoying girl isn't so bad compared to a grim reaper looking dude. I also found out that most days after dinner there was some free time to hang out with the people that you had tried to kill not too long ago.

That day though, we were all forced to watch the recaps of the games, along with some interviews with Kyla.

Apparently here, you have to watch the games each year, but after they are over, we have to wait for the last loser to wake up. Which was me this year.

They actually showed my dreams. Ugh! Why? Couldn't they at least given me a CHANCE to win? Obviously they reeeeeally wanted me to "die"

Finally, the interviews with Kyla turned on. This is all I really wanted to see, although watching Tina die again was pretty fun. Caesar Flickman came on as usual, followed by Kyla. She was in a word, beautiful, but it was more than that. She wore a flattering baby blue dress that flowed down to her knees and billowed over her arms. Her brown hair was swept back into a fish tail braid, which brought out her blonde highlights. Her makeup was beautifully done, but she looked so downcast. I could tell, even though the makeup tried to hide it, that she had been crying and her head was bent down, staring at the floor. She was carrying something and I strained to see it until I realized that it was one of my crutches. I wondered how she got that.

"Hello again dear, how nice to see you again." Caesar said kindly.

**(A/n I know that she wasn't supposed to talk, but I'm having her speak, just for this)**

She took a deep breath and looked up at him "hello Caesar."

**I'm stopping it there because I ran out of time and it seemed appropriate. Plus, it's not too short right?**

**So now, for the news. PLEASE DON'T SKIP THIS! IT IS IMPROTANT. So, I have decided that my chapters kinda suck so far so I'm going back to add more meat to the bone that I already have. I'll probably still post chapters but it will be far slower than it usualy is. YOU DO NOT NEED TO READ THE RE-DONE CHAPTERS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO. THEY WILL HAVE THE SAME PLOT UNLESS I DECIDE TO ADD A PART OR TWO. BUT IT WILL NOT MESS UP THE STORY FOR YOU IF YOU DO NOT READ IT.**

**R+r**

**-toe**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm ditching the idea of rewriting this whole thing for now. I might put up a chapter that my friend rewrote for me, but I'm just too lazy to do it at the moment. I know they suck, but I have so many stories right now that I can't bring myself to make you wait for forever. Once I finish a few stories, then I will do that.**

**I have another hunger games fanfic up that I am writing with a friend. We would really appreciate it if you checked that out. It's called Raven and it has next to no readers at the moment… Please take the time to read that… please?**

**I also have like a bazillion other new stories. I know, too many, but I really do not care.**

**The cover photo was created by my good friend H. , (She is actually the person I am writing Raven with) and she has a really great Gallagher Girls fanfic. Look her up!**

**I own nothing!**

_Previously:_

_"Hello again dear, how nice to see you again." Caesar said kindly._

_She took a deep breath and looked up at him "hello Caesar."_

Caesar looked a little startled that she actually responded. Apparently he had been informed of her refusal to talk. "Er, well, I think we all want to hear a bit more on the subject of the boy that you tried to kill yourself over. May we know his name?"

"No, that would just ruin his life. I got over it, even if I didn't think I would at the time. Plus, if I had managed to kill myself at the time, I would never have met Syd-"she stopped and looked down. Everybody in the room turned to look at me. I felt so ashamed. I had left her without even a word or a note. I'd never felt like such a horrible person in my life.

"I know. It must be hard." said Caesar. "How did you feel when you woke up that morning to find her gone?"

"I felt. I don't know. Scared? I never wanted to win this thing. As soon as I met her, I knew I wanted to get her and myself to the bottom two and then I would die. That was how I wanted it. But it didn't quite work out that way did it?"

I closed my eyes. I never wanted her to feel obligated to let me win. It was the same thing I had gotten my entire life. 'Oh, I'm going to let you win because you are in a wheel chair.' I hated that it made me feel week and that is one of the worst things to feel, ever.

Then Kyla said something that made me take back everything I had just thought. "But I didn't want her to win just because she was in a wheel chair. I wanted her to win because she reminded me of myself. No matter what was going on in my mind, I would look at her and know that if she won this, she would have a life to go back to. Like I would have so long ago."

I didn't want to look at the screen, to see her face, but I couldn't look away. I wanted to yell and scream, "I'm here! I'm not dead! Don't worry about me!" but I couldn't because she should worry about me. And because she was probably thousands of miles away from me at this moment and it was impossible for her to hear me anyway.

Caesar looked at her sadly and put a hand on her shoulder, "We know it must be extremely har-"

He was cut off by Kyla jumping up from her seat and yelling, "No! You don't! HOW can you know what I am going through!? You set up this, this monstrosity of 'games' and now look where that has just put me! I just lost my best friend to your sick games, so don't you DARE tell me that you know what I am going through!" she stormed off of the stage still ranting in fury, and the screen went black.

I had tears streaming down my face at this point because I realized that I would never see her again.

No. I refuse to submit, I will get out of here, and I will see Kyla and the rest of my family again. I will expose to the entire Panem what these monsters are doing, and I WILL hold Emily again. Oh god, I miss her so much! That baby made me feel… NORMAL. Something I almost never got to feel. And now I don't think I ever will again…

I don't know how I ended up back in my room, but when I rolled to the bed, I saw a notecard with a real white rose sitting on top of it. Snow.

_See you tomorrow __**honey**__._

_-S_

_Ps. wear this rose in your hair tomorrow. It will compliment your complexion._


	14. Chapter 14

**I know, it's been forever. But I got caught up in my maximum ride/Harry potter story for a while… the letter in the last chapter had a really great foreshadowing word, (honey) but I completely forgot what it was… so I'm kinda reinventing the wheel here, bear with me… I'm having soooo many problems with writers block on almost allllll my stories and I apologize profusely for that! (Did I use the word profusely correctly? Ah well, I don't really care.)**

**I don't own very much.**

_Previously_

_See you tomorrow__**honey**__._

_-S_

_Ps. wear this rose in your hair tomorrow. It will compliment your complexion._

Obviously this made me very nervous. I mean, President Snow telling me to put a rose in my hair? That could be a part of this huge evil plot to take over my brain again. But as my doors opened for breakfast I snagged the rose, hoping that the reason he has for me wearing this is better than the consequence not too.

It turns out that wearing the white rose is some kind of symbol to the rest of the people in the lab **(I can't remember if I called it something different before or not, but I will hopefully remember now that I called it a lab)** that you will not be showing up for lunch or dinner. Not that you will get room service, that you will be in the middle of a procedure at those times. A red rose is that you will not be showing up ever again, a yellow is that you will not be showing up for lunch, and a pink for dinner.

The boy from 3 in the year before me, Aiden, told me this information as I sat down and as I looked him over my frown deepened when I realized that the boy was only 13 and he has seen so many more horrible things than me. I remembered him from last year. He volunteered for his 14 year old, mentally unsound brother. He was killed, I mean brought here, in the top 10. His eyes dart all over the place as if he is constantly looking for a threat and he wrings his hands constantly.

After breakfast I sat down on my bed, taking in my white walled, sterile room. I hate that I will be staring at these same wall for the rest of my life. That color is no longer a big part of my life. that I will only ever see the greys of uniforms and the white of walls, that the only real color I will see is the reds, pinks, and yellows of unnaturally bright roses and the strange colors of the medications that will only cause me pain.

A few seconds later, Mir walked in with a suspicious box in her arms. She smiled brightly at me and began pressing electrodes onto my skin while chattering endlessly about absolutely nothing. I passively listened so that I would know when to nod and when to shake my head, but I mostly stared at the suction things stuck to my bare chest.

When she finished that, she took out a jar of honey and what looked a bit like a large paintbrush and began spreading it all over my body. It was not very good feeling to have sticky stuff all over you. Trust me. She then took out a box and dumped the content on me. I found out a second later that they were ants. Tons and tons of ants crawling all over my skin and eating the honey spread so finely over my skin that they took little bites out of me as well. My only cohesive thought was, OOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Mir snapped her fingers under my nose so I tried to pay attention. "Okay, so your task is to put a string through a shell using only the materials we have given you. This is a standard challenge we give to most of our charges, and it usually takes about 10-13 hours to complete. Good luck!"

She gave me a bunch of shells, some cardboard, and a piece of string. I thought about the nature of the test. How they specifically put honey and ants all over me and I think it took me around 5 minutes to come up with the solution.

What I did was tie the string to an ant (this proved to be the most difficult part of the task) and put it and a drop of honey on a table, then I put a shell in between them and two cardboard strips around it, so the only way to the honey was through the shell, it then chewed a hole in the shell, and taking the string with it, went through the cell. I completed it all in about an hour at the most.

President Snow walked in as soon as I was done, holding a hose. He sprayed me off and I felt immediate relief from the torture I had been enduring for the past hour. Everything washed down a convenient drain on the floor.

Then he left, taking the supplies with him, a grim look on his face. I was stuck sitting in my room contemplating the whole episode until lunch when the doors opened and I went to face the others.

**So not my best, but I wanted to incorporate honey in there. I stole the idea of the riddle from Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Olympian series. ****The Battle of the Labyrinth ****I believe.**

**One of my longer chapters for this story I think… maybe… I don't know. I think it had better writing in my opinion, just maybe not the best ideas.**

**Ignore my random tense switching. I think I randomly switched from past to present…. I'm too lazy to do anything about it though so… whatevs! In case you were wondren, yes, I have way too many stories, but… to bad 'cause you are stuck with all of them because I love them all and I want to impress my love on the rest of you!**

**R+r**

**-toe **


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing!**

I rolled **(I almost put walked there… whoops)** into the cafeteria with my head held high. As soon as I got there, all heads turned in my direction. I immediately got self-conscious and ducked my head on the way to my seat. The food today was turkey sandwiches. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to see the boy sitting in the seat directly behind me. "Well?" he asked, "you can't just expect us not to ask what happened!" He exclaimed, you could hear a pin drop and I sighed.

"I had to solve how to put a string through a shell without breaking it," I was cut off with groans from the other people, "I solved it in no more than half an hour, so I came here." I was met by stares.

Someone from the other side of the room who I couldn't see said, "But everyone does that, and it takes at least a few hours! How did you do that?"

I turned back to my food and tried to ignore the rest of the questions that were being bombarded at me, finally I just exploded, "WILL YOU SHUT UP! I JUST GOT A TON OF ANTS AND HONEY HOSED OFF MY BODY, AND I THINK THOSE ANTS ATE THROUGH MY ENTIRE BODY SO WILL OU SHUT UP?"

Everyone was absolutely silent until we were ushered back to our rooms for… well I don't know what they do with us at this time, guess I will find out!

There was a book on my bed when I arrived and my eyes brightened, FINALLY! Out of everything, I have missed reading the most. Sitting

The book was called Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief (**Don't worry, aim not going to show her reading it, so you don't have to read the book while you are reading this. Your welcome! : D) **Inside the cover was a post it note, on it said:

I hope you enjoy the book; I wanted to give you something that would remind you of the outside adventures, so that the walls don't break your spirit, I will.

-Snow

Great, more psychopathic president Snow, that is just what my life needs right now. I turned the page anyway and started reading. It was actually a really good book and I finished it a few minutes before dinner. **(I've done almost that with this same book, but I read through dinner, I didn't finish before.)** But I see that Snow was trying to make me miss the open sky and the life I had before, but I refuse to let it show. It really was a good book though.

When dinner time turned up about half an hour later, I dutifully rolled out of my room. We ate fried chicken and then each got the privilege to wait in a line for HOURS to be able to each talk to President Snow. I chatted to a girl from a few years before me and she said that this happens sometimes; Snow either rewards you for good behavior or punishes you for bad behavior. I have an idea which of the two I am going to get. He just really hates me for whatever reason. Some people were walking out with Roses of various colors; a few had red which I remember were the symbol of death.

When I get called into the small room that Snow was in, he was twirling a white rose in his fingers. He beckoned me forward and he positioned the flower in my hair. He sighed and spoke, "tomorrow is the most important procedure that I think we will have on you. I hope that it will be successful."

With that he turned away and it was clear that the audience was over. I began to leave before I turned, "I liked the book." After I got no answer, I went on, "If you wouldn't mind, would you get me the next one in the series? The Sea of Monsters I believe."

He grunted and satisfied I left the room, proudly showing off the rose that would keep me away tomorrow.

When I arrived in my room, the new book was already there, along with a bookshelf holding the one I had read earlier. I put the new book on the shelf and decided to get a good night's sleep as I was undoubtedly goin to have a long day tomorrow.

I dreamt of nothing that night, it seemed as though it had only been a second when I was awoken by the sound of the hustle and bustle of people prodding me and poking things into me. I don't think I was wrong. This is going to be a long day.

**So… it has been forever… don't kill me… please? Anyway, I have a poll up on my blog, check it out! Uhhhhhh… I'm updating Praying to Mommy next up most likely to anyone interested, unless I end up updating learning to fly because I know what I am doing in that story next… I don't know, don't judge me, its late and I'm tired…**

**As always, I love my reviews something awful. What do you think they are gonna do to Sydney next? I know… but I'm not gonna tell you!**

**Go and read my other stuff if you want. Or don't.**

**Vote on my poll if you want. Or don't**

**Happy late thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans.**

**-toe**


	16. Chapter 16

**So it has been a while… like, a really long while this time. Soooory about that. I have had busy-ness and am in the play at my school so no time… yup, no real excuses.**

**This chapter has been the plan since the beginning, along with a few chapters to come. They have been mulling around in my mind for so long that I don't know if I can do them justice or not. This chapter was actually really hard to write because I'm too lazy to do any actual research and I know next to nothing about medical stuff despite my mom being a doctor and the multiple hospital trips I have made in my lifetime.**

**I'm working on another 1-shot. (It's another Percy Jackson one) so be exited for that.**

**I don't own anything. My lawyer is working on that**

**Enjoy!**

_I dreamt of nothing that night, it seemed as though it had only been a second when I was awoken by the sound of the hustle and bustle of people prodding me and poking things into me. I don't think I was wrong. This is going to be a long day._

Indeed it was. On a table next to my bed was a big, scary, but sanitary looking saw.

Mir walked in a minute after I woke up, with her usual jump in her step and insane smile on her face. She pushed past an old man who had been fiddling with my IV, and sat down on the table beside me.

"As I believe the president told you, we will be doing a very important procedure on your legs today, possibly the most important procedure that we will do. I am not allowed to tell you exactly what we will be doing but I am sure you will figure out soon enough!"

I raise my eyebrows but did not say anything as I recognized one of the bags on a cart full of them as full of the pain serum.

It took about an hour for the scientists to be finished sticking me with needles and dumping who knows what into my system. Mir smiled and picked up the big scary saw. I knew what was coming even before it happened, she brought the saw to just below my hip and started sawing away. Of all of the things they stuck in me, apparently not a single one of them was a pain reliever. I feel no shame, I screamed bloody murder.

And then they did the other leg… yippee. At the end of the operation, both of my legs were gone below the hip and I was left alone, bleeding.

I might have slept; I remember blackness mixed with the blinding light of the room. Eventually the door opened and I felt someone messing with my IV. A bit later my thoughts cleared and I was looking up into the face of President Snow.

"Hello my dear, I hope you are comfortable," after receiving only my glare, he continued, "I trust that nobody reviled to you what you are here for? Good. I wanted to do that myself you see."

"Well I think I have figured it out seeing as I _have no legs_!" I screamed that last part; you can't really blame me for being a bit uptight at the moment due to the aforementioned predicament.

He grinned and shook his head, "Nope, that was a necessary part of the procedure, but the main purpose is a broader idea. You probably know that there are methods known to add on limbs, but they have never worked as well as we have liked. We have decided to test a few experimental prosthetics on you."

I sighed, the idea in and of itself didn't sound too sadistic, but I was sure that in practice the experiments would be highly uncomfortable.

I wasn't wrong, but in the long run, these tests were probably the best things that ever happened to me.

**~Don't mind me, I am just a simple line break~**

I gritted my teeth as I took another step with these new legs that had been latched onto my body for the time being. Mir was standing a few steps behind me, being annoyingly happy and 'supportive.' "Come on Sydney, the sooner you get to the other side, the sooner we can try on the next pair!"

I had seen the next pair of legs, and they looked even worse than the ones I had on. Needless to say, I was not too anxious to get to the other side. I had two bars next to me that I was allowed to support myself with by my hands that I was trying to walk to the other end of.

The next comment by Mir made me push forward though, "As soon as you finish the next pair, you can go to lunch!" That inspired me.

I got lunch soon after that.

People stared at my legs, or rather, the lack of legs, this became very annoying after a while, but I just sucked it up and ate my enchiladas.

Yesterday had been Hell with all of the poking and sawing, so I guess today was not the worst, with getting to walk for the first time in my life. I had been woken up long before I would have chosen, and bee fitted into about a dozen different prosthetics before the aforementioned lunch.

I was given a nice break afterwards, and opened the new book that I had been given the day before. I recognized the test with the ant and the shell from earlier, and I sighed. But it really was a very good book. **(Just a little advertising for Rick Riordan right there. I am hoping he will give me a sneak peak at the House of Hades :P)**

When the doors opened for dinner, I sighed, I was nearly done with the book, but I guess I will have time to finish it later.

We watched a few 'highlights' from one of the previous games and a watched the person sitting next to me flinch as she 'died.'

As we sat there, watching ourselves die on the big screen, I decided something important. I had to get out of here.

**So… not the shortest chapter ever but not the longest ever either. 853 without A/Ns… I know, you still hate me. If you are even still reading this, which I assume nobody is.**

**R+R (And don't hate me too much)**

**-toe**


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